Gai's Saint Patrick's Tantrum

Author: Temari 88

In a place like Konoha, so full of leaves and green everywhere you looked, a holiday the likes of Saint Patrick's Day was as fitting as asand castle competition in Sunagakure.
In short and simple words, it was icing on a cake. Perfect .
And who better than Maito Gai to embody the spirit of that festivity? With that hideous jumpsuit that everyone tried to avoid like the plague, he was a bouncing, green , tornado... and he could spring in everyone a nasty headache as if they had drunk inhumanly amounts of alcohol - even to those who hadn't touched it - with his merepresence and the sheer force of his enthusiasm.
All that without swallowing a drop of sakè.
Unfortunately, that year, no one other than Sarutobi Asuma had had the great idea to challenge Gai to a drinking match despite all the protests of his fellow shinobi: they all knew it was a very. bad. idea. to have the Green Beast drunk because no one could predict what effect it would cause on the already hyper-active man. Obviously, Asuma had shrugged all worries off like it was nothing.
All it took for Gai to get the alcohol take its effect had been a pint of beer... no one had been able to stop the man from sprinting out of his seat at the bar they were at and keep him from exiting using a very unnecessary Dynamic Entry , shattering the glass panel right next to the door.
Gai had went off, running like crazy throughthe streets, pinching people at random - it didn't matter if they were kids or old women - while laughing loudly and crushing stalls and booths in his high without noticing.
The situation was steadily getting worse, and when the drunken shinobi started to shout his rival's name as loud as he could, the Hokage finally decided enough was enough and called Hatake Kakashi to his office, telling his to stop Gai in whichever way he saw fit because there was to much damage getting done and Sarutobi really didn't want to deal with more paperwork.
Kakashi came upon his self-appointed rival in front of Ichiraku Ramen, where he was busy pinching the living lights out of Kurenai, who had tried to stop the runaway Beast.
"Kakashi, my Eternal Rival!" Shouted Gai as soon as he spotted the ANBU, grinning fromear to ear and finally releasing the genjutsu specialist from her torture. After a moment to take in Kakashi's attire, the huge smile stretching Gai's mouth turned into a frown, corners inching downward, "I see you are not dressed in green." he commented, with a lack of the usual flourish in his speech, though it was surprisingly clear despite being beyond tipsy.
"Why should I be?" Replied coolly Kakashi, crossing his arms in front of his chest and taking on a bored stance.
"Today is Saint Patrick's! Everybody has to wear something green!"
"So?"
" So? " The taijutsu specialist said, as if he hadjust been insulted, "The ANBU uniform is not green!"
"I'm on duty, and gray is the uniform's standard color." Answered Kakashi, like he was explaining things to a kid.
"You're ruining the spirit!" Gai pointed at him with an accusing finger and Kakashi didnothing but shrug like he didn't care in the slightest. "That's it!"
With a rapid move, the green-dressed shinobi launched forward, ready for a pinching attack but missed when Kakashi easily sidestepped to avoid him; in his momentum, Gai failed to stop immediately and landed chin first on the dusty road.
Before Gai could attack again, the ANBU made the first move and what a better, clean way to calm down his rival than to challenge him to his usual trial? "Gai... it's myturn to decide our next one-on-one right?"
Gai perked up instantly. "Uh-huh! You decide, push-ups? Running? Crunches? Eating contest—"
"Janken." Answered Kakashi, grinning underhis porcelain mask. "It's too easy to fool him." He thought chuckling mentally. "If I win, I'll take you to your place and you'll staythere for the rest of the day."
"You're on!"
On the count of three, the two shinobi shot their hands out: rock against scissors.
"You lose." Commented plainly Kakashi, and without waisting a moment he grabbed the flabbergasted Green Beast by the neck of hisjonin vest and proceeded to drag him off while he was still too shocked to react. By the time Gai came back to his senses, his eternal rival had locked him up in his apartment and had placed seals all over to prevent him from escaping.
"Awww...my Saint Patrick's Day completely wasted." Was all Gai could manage while he slouched on the couch with a pout twisting his lips.